Would you like to be heard? Really heard? Coaching can help you.
A professional coach is someone who will really listen to you, without judgment or attachment. This may be something that you’ve never experienced before.
Regardless of what kind of challenge you are facing, the active listening skills of a good coach will help you. You will gain valuable insights into who you are and what you want. In adition, you will learn techniques to reframe the stories, limiting beliefs, fears, and self-judgment that may be holding you back.
Why? Because the coaching partnership’s sole purpose is to help you. It’s a one-sided relationship where you are the boss and the center of attention. The coach does not decide what needs to change in your life, nor do they decide how to implement change. That’s 100% up to you. But once you’ve committed to making a change in your life, the coach will help you achieve it.
You Are the Expert in Your Own Life
The coaching process operates under the premise that you are the expert in your own life. Therefore, you are the best suited to find solutions to any challenges that you face. However, you may need help finding them within yourself. That’s where a coach comes in.
A coach can help you to access solutions by using a variety of techniquess. Techniques such as powerful questioning, visualization exercises, and soul reflections are very effective ways to help you open up. Soul reflection is a technique where the coach repeats back to you what the coach hears you say. The idea is that when you hear what you just said repeated back to you, it may help you to better understand yourself. All of these techniques, as well as others, first require that the coach listen carefully to what you are saying and how you are saying it.
The objective of the coaching process is to help get you where you want to go. To do this, it requires that you gain an understanding of what’s behind the problem that you are dealing with, because once you understand that, you will be able to develop strategies to move forward.
Coaching Styles to Help You
There are many kinds of coaching styles and programs available. Some common coaching programs include performance coaching, developmental coaching, life coaching, executive coaching, well-being coaching, and many others.
I like to think of my style of coaching as “Transformational Coaching.” It draws from my personal experience as a leader in the corporate world, my many years as a professional musician, and the formal and informal training gained from many recognized experts in the field of personal growth and development.
My formal training was through Chopra Global, (founded by Dr. Deepak Chopra), where I completed my certification as a Chopra Total Well-being Coach, as well as a Health and Meditation Instructor. This training was invaluable.
How the Chopra Coaching Process Can Help
The coaching process below was developed by Pete Kirchmer and his team at Chopra Global. The Chopra model focuses on helping clients to work through what Chopra calls the four cornerstones:
Cornerstone #1: Purpose
The spiritual pursuit of purpose, at the highest level of consciousness, is a very personal journey that may take a lifetime, (or in some cultures – many lifetimes), to achieve. It is beyond the physical world as we know it and can be accessed by going within ourselves through deep meditation.
When I speak of finding one’s “purpose” in life, I am talking about a lower level of consciousness – what we perceive as “the real world” – our mind, body, and the environment around us. This definition of purpose is about answering the questions, “Who am I?” and “How can I serve others while serving myself?”
The answer to the first question, “Who am I?” is an ongoing exploration to discover yourself, however there are some aspects of you that you can learn rather quickly, while others may take longer to unearth. There is a core part of you – your “true nature” that never changes. Gaining an understanding of your true nature is a key to unlocking your potential.
The answer to the second question, “How can I serve others while serving myself?” will change throughout your life – which makes it all that more important to periodically “tune in” to your purpose.
Finding one’s purpose provides you with a foundation upon which to build your life. It also provides you with a direction to follow, just as a compass helps you to navigate unfamiliar territory. Probably the most important reason why you should invest the time to understand your purpose is that it helps you to make better life choices that are in alignment with your true nature.
Cornerstone #2: Intention
Once you have gained clarity of self you can begin the process of assessing what is working, and what isn’t working, in your life. I like to think of this step as determining what “notes of your life” are “in tune,” and those that are “out of tune.”
The following eight major “notes” (areas) of your life play a significant role in your total wellbeing:
- Family & Friends
- Romance
- Finances
- Environment
- Health
- Recreation
- Career
- Personal Growth
From your answers above you can develop wellbeing intentions, (goals and action plans), that will give you the power to achieve your desired outcomes. Think of the questions: “What do I want?” and “What am I grateful for?” When you can answer these questions, along with the two Purpose questions, “Who am I?” and “How can I serve others while serving myself?” you will have defined your “personal vision.”
Cornerstone #3: Meaning
We all have stories and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Some of these stories and beliefs are positive in nature and help support us as we move forward in life. However, many of these stories and beliefs are limiting in nature and have a negative impact upon our experience of the world. Therefore, the meaning that we assign to these stories and beliefs can either help us – or limit our potential.
These stories and beliefs have developed because of the environment in which we live, the events which we have experienced in life, and the influence of the people around us including family, friends, and others. A bad experience may stay with us long after its occurrence, and can impact how we see ourselves in the world.
If you want to make a positive, permanent change in your life, then you must reframe the negative meanings that you have associated with your negative stories and beliefs.
Cornerstone #4: Shadow
Along with the stories and beliefs discussed above in Meaning, we have emotional “baggage” that sticks to past experiences and prevents growth. Fears and self-judgment hold us back in life. Shadow work is the process of clearing that baggage and often involves practicing self-compassion.
Summary of How Coaching Can Help You
Coaching is a powerful, transformational tool from which everyone can benefit. The coaching process can help you to gain a much better understanding of who you are and what your purpose is at this point in your life. This knowledge will provide you with a strong foundation and will point you in a direction that will help you to make better life choices that are in alignment with your personal vision.
I sincerely believe that everyone can benefit from coaching. Who wouldn’t want a partner who is dedicated to helping them achieve the life that they want to lead?
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