Don’t Just Set Goals – Tune In

Are you Out of Tune? Stressed out? Stuck? Don’t just set goals – Tune In.

My many years as a professional musician have influenced the way tht I look at life. Unfortunately, what I see is that many people live their lives Out of Tune, whether it be physically, mentally, spiritually, or some combination of the three.

Symptoms may include a lack of fulfillment and passion in your life, stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and even depression. Some people report feeling stuck or trapped. There report being unable to follow through on their goals. Many are just going through the motions of life with no clear sense of direction or purpose. These feelings can lead to physical issues such as high blood pressure, trouble sleeping, digestive issues, or much worse.

The obvious solution is to “Tune Up,” by setting goals and developing action plans to achieve them. But Tuning Up is only one part of the overall tuning process. To achieve life-changing transformation, you also need to “Tune In.” Tuning In involves gaining a clear understanding of who you are, and what you want out of life.

Why Tune In Instead of Just Setting Goals?

Many people who want to make a significant change in their lives go straight to setting goals. Maybe they think that they fully understand the challenge that they are facing and are simply anxious to get started. Why waste time on Tuning In?

I totally get it – Tuning In seems like a time-consuming, unnecessary step. Sometimes going straight to goal setting may work. But I suspect that the reason why so many people fail to achieve their goals is that they didn’t do the upfront work of Tuning In. I’ve certainly been guilty of this myself – and I’ve failed repeatedly. What I’ve learned is that to make significant changes in your life, you must first do the inner work. After all, it’s how you think and feel about yourself that will determine your success in achieving external goals.

“… to make significant changes in your life, you must first do the inner work. After all, it’s how you think and feel about yourself that will determine your success in achieving external goals.”

How do You Tune In Instead of Just Setting Goals?

When working with my coaching clients I approach the Tune In step as follows:

• Discover your true nature and ideal state of well-being.
• Identify your current purpose in life and the core values that define you.
• Assess the eight major areas of your life, and choose the top 1-3 areas that you want to Tune Up first.
• Identify and reframe the stories and limiting beliefs that hold you back from leading the kind of life that you desire.
• Shine a light on the fears, toxic emotions, and judgments that limit your personal growth. Develop the practice of self-compassion.

Gaining a clear understanding of who you are will help you to make life choices that are in alignment with you natural characteristics, tendencies, and state of wellbeing. Each of us is born with a unique blend of mind/body characteristics. These characteristics strongly influence our daily lives. Some of these characteristics include our personalities, our body type, the foods that we enjoy eating, the types of exercise that we are most suited for, the kinds of music, books, movies, etc., that we are drawn to, etc. When we make choices that go against our true nature we tend to go Out of tune.

We all have people, (whether real or fictional characters), in our lives that represent strengths and values that resonate with us. These archetypes provide us with a clue about our own purpose and core values. The combination of understanding your true nature and ideal state of wellbeing, along with defining your current purpose and core values, will provide you with a solid foundation upon which to build your life.

Assessing whether each of the eight major areas of your life, (Family & Friends, Finances, Environment, Health, Recreation, Career, Personal Growth, Romance), is in or Out of Tune will help you to see the overall picture of what’s working and what’s not working in your life. From this vantage point you will then be able to choose the areas that you want to focus on initially, (I suggest limiting it to 1-3 areas until you make some progress, then add another area). As you develop clear intentions (goals) and action plans you will build them upon the solid foundation you have established.

Two More Reasons to Tune In Instead of Just Setting Goals

The goals and action plans that you put together based on the above approach will be much more effective as a result. But there are two more things to take into consideration to increase your chances of success.

Frrst, look deep within yourself and identify your stories stories and limiting beliefs. These get in the way every time you try to move forward in your life. We all have these stories and beliefs. It is only when we confront them that we can reframe the way that we think about ourselves. This is life-changing work and well worth doing.

In addition, you will need to shine a light on the fears, toxic emotions, and judgments that limit your ability to grow as a person. Everyone experiences fear, toxic emotions, and judgment against others as well as against ourselves. Exposing these shadow feelings to the light will allow you to open your mind and allow you to practice self-compassion. This work takes courage, but in the end, it will free you from the constraints of fear.

Tuning is a Lifelong Process

Okay, I know what you are thinking… “How long does all of this take?” the answer is, “a lifetime” – assuming that you want to stay In Tune.

There will always be a few notes of your life that need to be tuned. Maybe you are putting on a few extra pounds, or an important relationship is a bit strained, or you are working too much. There will always be areas of your life that could use some attention.

I am not suggesting that you must completely Tunie In before you begin working on your life goals. What I am recommending is that while you work on your life goals you also invest some time Tuning In. Tuning In and Tuning Up go hand in hand.

Tuning In provides you with clarity about who you are and what you want in your life. By gaining a better understanding of your natural state of wellbeing, what you need and want from life, your purpose and core values, where your life is In and Out of Tune, and the stories, limiting beliefs, fears, and judgments that act as internal obstacles to forward progress, you will then be able to develop clear Intentions and effective action plans that are in alignment with your true nature.

If you Tune In while you Tune Up, you will be much more likely to get back In Tune.

If you would like to learn more please check out my blog post, “How Coaching Can Help You.”

No wrong notes,

Mike